before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
