yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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