there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
