Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
