Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
