Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
