Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
