3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
