Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
