did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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