paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
