just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
