This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
