Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
