I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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