We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
