we have pet lesbian snakes
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
