i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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