It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
