Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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