Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
