Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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