omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
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