Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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