You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
