weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
