U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
