I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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