She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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