she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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