U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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