No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
