saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
