perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
