Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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