I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
