Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
