your parents love me but you hate me
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
