big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
