so that wasnt chicken after all
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
