I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
