STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
