you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
