Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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