he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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