there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
