Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
this is an emotional support booty call
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Drunk is a universal language darling
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
