Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
