This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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