You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
