I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
