The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
