check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
